Make More Mistakes

I was wrong about being wrong to study.

I’d all but given up on my MA programme, because my essays were making me miserable. However, I couldn’t just quit, so I told myself I’d make a last attempt by throwing myself in to studying as one of my 30 day experiments.

In my first seminar of the new term, I re-found my joy! The passion I had felt in the past returned and I wanted to be studying again.

Joy, luck & immense gratitude

I’m really glad I had the period of doubt (although more glad to be excited about studying again), even though it was heartbreaking, because it forced me to re-evaluate my reasons for studying and made me realise something vital, which I’d known before but not really appreciated:

If I’m truly not enjoying it, there’s no point me being there.

This is something particular to me: For most students, studying increases their career prospects, but for me, a) I’m studying something vague that won’t increase my employability and b) I’m not going to get a job; I’m an entrepreneur. For me, the year I’m taking out to study is a year I could be spending more time launching Ethical Beads. In a way, it’s terrible for me to be studying, because every second I’m reading a book or engaging in an interesting discussion is another second I’m not doing market research or creating bead jewellery or investigating unethical practices.

Studying has real value for me.

In addition to finding my subject fascinating, the deeper knowledge of ethical systems is actually making me a better person. It sounds strange to think that learning about morality might make you more moral - and I’m sure it’s not the case in most instances - but there it is. Studying is changing my life, for the better.

I’ve renewed my commitment; at least, I’m really trying. I’ve set an absolute minimum of an hour’s study daily before I go on my computer or watch television in the evenings. So, I’ll have to see how I do with that! Plus, I’m tackling my fears of failure when it comes to essay writing.

The requirement to tell my parents if I were dropping out and the fact this might have made moving out more urgent has really helped me to bring ‘Making my Escape’ to the forefront of my mind. It’s now more pressing: I’m getting on with it instead of procrastinating. (See my entry about Decluttering for more information about the practicalities of that, how I’m taking action and how you can face your mess and wage war on your stuff too).

In addition, thinking about quitting has highlighted the importance of finding alternative sources of income. So I’m working really hard on that too: Ideas & Potential Solutions for my Fiscal Challenge. (Please do send me suggestions; I really appreciate your help).

Learning from my mistakes

I need to remember what energises me when it comes to studying. (It’s something I forget often because it changed relatively recently. See Know thyself, or Overcoming my shyness, you can do it too). I used to feel energised by introspection. However, more recently I feel invigorated by classes and bouncing ideas off people. So I need to remember to engage in discussion more, attend optional lectures, write about what I think etc.

Of course, I still much enjoy reading too, in that area I need to focus on the books written in styles I particularly like, e.g. I’m a massive fan of Raimond Gaita and Chris Hamilton’s writing styles. (By sheer coincidence, they both lecture at my university!)

So, what are your thoughts about education? Still studying or not? Happy about it? Let me know!

NB: Yes, Make More Mistakes is back! I’m now updating every other Friday, so check back in a fortnight to learn about & from more of my failures. Until then, I’ll make more mistakes; I suggest you do too. :)